Colin Powell endorses Obama as his choice of US President, and this is widely regarded as the final nail in McCain’s presidential bid efforts – the first nail being McCain’s pick of Sarah Palin as his running mate.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7A4LfWhU0Uk

I sincerely hope that come November, Barack Obama will be elected President. Throughout the entire campaign, he has shown himself to be calm and a honorable man, with a good grasp of key issues that plague America, the ability to spot talented people AND listen to them, and most importantly, a genuine care for the people.

The Straits Times was worth a buy today, as I wanted to find out what our Singapore national press has to say about the just departed JB Jeyaretnam.

And as I clambered sleepily down to the newspaper stand, I started thinking – how would the national press publication portray a political figure that has stood out for almost half of the time Singapore has been independent.

I switched into headline mode; “Farewell to the Tiger.”, “Fighting till the End.”, or what I would consider the best headline “— (can’t hear? the people just lost their voice!)”. A good stirring picture of JBJ in the front (preferably a picture of him giving one of his fiery speeches), a half-page cover. Hmm… that’ll be fitting.

Reached the stand, requested the ST, and was kindly informed by the ah pek the price of ST has went up 10 cents (that, is a 11% increase in price!). And I thought – capitalistic opportunists!… then I realized the price hike has probably been planned… unless it’s too good a coincidence.

JBJ ST frontpage

Tucked away on the left side of the frontpage, with a 1/8 space dedication, was probably the most unimaginative frontpage headline I have ever come across… “JBJ dies.”. And a picture of our dear departed fella with a red tie, white shirt, and black coat. Red tie… white shirt… red tie… white shirt… hey that reminds me of the PAP logo! Although I must commend on the pose of JBJ in the picture, he had the relaxed poise of a common man (well, okay, a common man who can cope with the high costs of living anyway). Fiery speech pic is good, but ultimately, he was a man of the people, and I felt I could identify with this image.

I’m not going to quote the article in full, as it may violate copyright law, but comment on excerpts with page number and paragraph numbers (as far as I can. you know it can get messy sometimes in a man’s brain when it comes to details.)  Please get a hold of the ST and cross reference to it if you will.

FRONT PAGE

• Headlines : “JBJ Dies” (contrast this to the headlines for the veto of the US economic bailout bill – “SHOCK WAVES”)
• Para 3 Line 1 : PM quoted to “… acknowledge his ‘dogged tenacity’”. I think for a dead man, maybe a better choice of words would be “relentless spirit” instead of making him out to be someone of the canine persuasion.

PAGE A2

• Headline : “A stayer to the end” – Come on, soft words! Can’t we use something like “A fighter to the end”? He was, and I bet he still is, a “fighter” in terms of the “indelible mark” he left on Singapore politics! A stayer… how often do you call someone a “stayer”? It’s like the last guy who refuses to leave the party because the alcohol has not been finished. So, ah, you the stayer aye? *winks* Bonny lad, ye!
• Subhead : “Opposition politican Jeyeretnam leaves an indelible mark on Singapore politics” could be interpreted as common splat! roadkill. REWRITE : “Memory of opposition politician Jeyeretnam lives on in Singapore politics.”
• Writer : Ms Chua Lee Hong (Political Editor, ST). Oh wow! Here comes the big gun!
• Para 1 Line 1 : “… [his] death dashed the hopes of many” – give the opposition more credit, hopes are difficult to dash, unless the lottery draw is over, but there’s always tomorrow’s draw right?
• Para 2 Line 1 : “… died with him were the spoken and unspoken dreams of those who had hoped to see a strengthening of the opposition in Singapore”. Again, more credit please to the opposition.
• Para 3 Line 1: “… political fray” – 84 Cabinet seats and only 2 Opposition MPs in it can be considered a FRAAAY?? It’s like saying Russia stepping into Georgia was World War III (please, please, let it not be true!).
• Para 3 Line 1 : [referring to Singapore politics followers] “… watching, if not with bated breath, at least with a measure of curiosity, to see what difference he would make to the political landscape here.” – Yes, unfortunately for majority of Singaporeans, the best we could be is curious – maybe it’s because we don’t get to vote as many of our individual constituencies are walk-overs.
• Para 4 Line 1 : Good paragraph, exemplify the fighting spirit of JB Jeyeretnam. Thanks LH Chua.
• Para 5 Line 1 : [referring to MM Lee Kuan Yew and JBJ both] “… was the nemesis of the other.” The word “nemesis” is commonly used as a term when powers are equally matched or far superior. I think MM Lee is the nemesis of JBJ, but as real life has shown, JBJ was hardly – if ever – the nemesis of MM Lee… maybe due to JBJ’s underestimation of the Singapore legal system. Poor bloke.
• Para 7 Line 1 : [referring to JBJ] “… highly combative style that led the PAP government to develop an aversion to confrontational politics, Westminster-style.” Let me read this correctly, you are saying that JBJ bulldog politics tempered the PAP into a rational, reasonable, affable and APPROACHABLE political opponent on the arena? REWRITE : “… highly combative style that led the PAP government to … <message truncated due to service error>.”
• Para 8 Line 1 : [referring to JBJ] “… Had Singapore’s first opposition MP been of a more peaceable temperament… [like Opposition MPs today]… it is possible that Singapore’s political landscape might be very different today.” – Yes, open passion just spoils everything mm? And we probably might be a monarchy now… oh wait a minute there… REWRITE : “He was known for his fiery speeches and straight-forward approach, and while he has passed on, it must be said that he has left his stamp on Singapore politics.
• Para 10 Line 1 : [referring to MM Lee and JBJ's different political views] “While Mr Lee made no apologies for an authoritarian government, Mr Jeyaretnam was all about free speech and “power to the people” – although his personal style when running the Worker’s Party (WP) could be as authoritarian as the best of them.” – Since the man is dead, this is flogging a dead horse if you are going to use ‘although’ and insinuate that under the liberal outlook JBJ had, he was a hard-core conservative. Best if it was two different sentences without the ‘although’ – I can hold liberal views yet be firm-handed towards my team about executing those liberal views, for instance calling for serious accountability when and if a member allow toilets to go unguarded for a high-risk detainee.
• Para 11 Line 1 : [referring to JBJ's and Opp MP Low Thia Khiang's 2001 fallout in WP] “… differences over leadership styles proved one of the factors behind the falling-out between Mr Jeyeretnam and his deputy, Mr Low Thia Khiang.” [JBJ resigned from WP, and Opp MP Low Thia Khiang took over]. – This is a point of contestation – was it the “leadership style” differences that caused the fallout? I mean, the FOUNDING CEO and the VP of a 30-year-old company have a “leadership style” difference, and the FOUNDING CEO (the top man!) left?? It’s my opinion that in 2001, JB believed leaving WP would give it a better fighting chance at the polls due to his, ahha, inconveniences, and left the party he found for its good. Then again, we’ll never know will we? This insinuates that there were major flaws with the management abilities of JBJ (which he could have. I don’t know, I only shook his hand once).
• Para 12 Line 2 : [referring to Opp MP Low Thia Khiang] “… the kind of opposition MP they wanted to see: someone swift to pounce on government misdemeanours, who raised issues pertinent to heartlanders, but – unlike Mr Jeyaretnam – could not be accused of not being constructive.” – Ouch! There’s always a ‘but’ or an ‘although’ like an old buried Cambodian landmine. For a politician who was an MP for about 10 years (1981 – 1986, 1997 – 2001), i’m surprised he was tolerated for his “inconstructive” views by the people who trusted and voted for him… unless of course in the eyes of those who voted for him, he was actually constructive. Heard of “different point of views”, anyone? Besides, this feel like a promotional piece for MP Low Thia Khiang instead of an orbituary for JBJ – and bringing down one dead Opposition politician and bringing up one live Opposition politician brings no overall improvement to the Opposition as a whole.

These are the major points which from my POV I felt could have been done better, but credit to Ms Chua Lee Hong for giving JBJ an overall fair, if I might even say, a good obituary in the rest of the article.

To summarize my main 3 gripes with the article :

1. If a man is dead, show respect by not throwing surprises in his obituary using the operatives “buts” and “althoughs”. e.g He was known to be thrifty… but, some people would label him a miser.  Be kind, the man’s dead anyway. If you are going to point a flaw out, be clear. If it is a positive, be clear too. Dead men likes straight talk just like how they are positioned in the coffin.
2. Good headlines are the first thing to consider in any article, it sets the pace and tone of what is to follow. “JBJ Dies” is really inadequate.. Though factually correct. It’s also factually terribly uninspiring – It’s like saying “Oh. Someone’s dead. So what?”
3. Negativity vs Positivity – We used to have an unwritten rule, 2 Rights, 1 Wrong. Or rather, 2 Positives, 1 Negative. And that’s for commenting on a living man. Half of this article seems to be commenting on JBJ’s supposed flaws or the weaknesses of the institutions he had links to – “dashed the hopes of many”, “died with him… spoken and unspoken dreams of those”, he was watched “with a measure of curiosity” (like a zoo exhibit), he should have been of a “more peaceable temperament”, he could have been just as “authoritarian as the best of them”, etc. etc. Even then, the orbituary could have been tempered by not clumping the negatives at the start of the article, but spread evenly across.

On a closing note, I think Ms Chua Lee Hong did a honorable, and beautiful, closing for the obituary, and I quote it in full here for remembrance.

When both your friends and your political enemies use the same descriptions of you, you can be sure they are true. In Mr Jeyaretnam’s case, sincerity, tenacity and courage are words many have used to describe him.

He fought a good fight. May he rest in peace.

At least it didn’t turn out to be “He was a stayer to the end, and now he stays still and cannot bend.”

JBJ ST punchline illustration

P.S Could someone explain to me the comic punchline? I totally didn’t get it – unless it actually meant that he was the embodiment of a speaker, in which case, the punch was erm… rather weak mm?

Wake for late Mr JBJ will be held from tonight Tuesday 30 Sept 2008 at Mount Vernon Complex – Funeral Parlour One – off Upper Aljunied Road. (see map).

Funeral will be on Saturday 4.Oct.2008 from Mount Vernon to Mandai Crematorium at 3pm (1500hr).

[source : wayangparty]

Disclaimer : This post represents the opinions entirely of the blogger, and should not be constituted as stern corrections and/or affronts to the professionalism and/or copywriting skills of Ms Chua L H of the Straits Times. It’s a “I would have done…” instead of a “Let me tell you this is the way it is done…” kind of thing. Also, it’s an exploration of alternative views of thoughts, and not a definite rewriting of history/facts/figures/lies. More of a “May I propose this viewpoint of looking at…” instead of a “I tell you, this was what happened when…”.

Any errors/misprints/misquoting will be rectified, given sufficient proof of need of correction. Please email me at kelvinty@gmail.com.